Spring
by InspiringLight
Summary: "People die. But the Sun will still shine. Spring will still come. And everyone will smile and laugh, because nothing has changed." Rated T for Character Death. A twin's thoughts on how it's like to be left behind.


Warning: This fic includes character death.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own the Suite Life series nor any of its characters.

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Remember that day we attended Granddad's funeral?

Remember how upset Mum was? She cried all week. We used to huddle near the door as we listened to her sobs at the other side. But then, she suddenly stopped, and we were so confused. The next day, everything went back to normal. Mum smiled again, and we heard her laughter. I never knew I'd miss it so much. You did too, didn't you?

Mum said that people move on. It was part of life. We just had to accept that fact. But I didn't.

I remember you sitting on my bed and telling me 'People die. But the Sun will still shine. Spring will come. And everyone will smile and laugh, because nothing has changed.'

And you were right.

The Sun is still shining. Spring is still beautiful. Really, but has it always been so cold? And everyone…they are still smiling and laughing. It's so bright being around them. I can't stand it.

I still go to school. I used to be afraid of school. What if people didn't like me? No one liked, as you call it, dorks like me. But you always made things better for me, though I would never have admitted that in the past. Now I wish I could pour everything out to you. You were _there_. As much as a 'loser' that you thought I was, you never left my side. We always ended up doing nearly everything together.

Why is that we only realize how important something is when it's gone?

You're gone now.

I don't have to say it, do I? There are so many things I want to say, but what's the point? You won't hear them. No, you never would have wanted to hear them anyway. I want to hate you so bad. Do you know how hard it is to sleep at night? I keep seeing your face, your haunting smiles; I hear your laughter. It echoes in my ears. I think…I do hear it at night. But when I sit up and call for you, everything is silent again. I hate that too.

I used to like being surrounded by so many people. You always made me out to be a nerd. I wanted many friends so, you know, I could prove that even someone like me could be popular. But you were the one who people were drawn to. They liked you, despite your obnoxious personality. Perhaps they could see that you were kind.

Now…I hate being around people. They stare at me. Some try to talk. I can't take it. I just can't breathe.

I want to talk. I don't want to be alone. But…none of them are you.

I used to think that being a twin was a curse. I'm not you, and you aren't me. We aren't the same. Why can't people get that? I realize now we're so much similar. How did we not realize it? Or was it just me the entire time?

…

Where are you?

For the first time, I don't know where you are. And it scares me. Why did you go to place where I can't follow? Do you hate me that much?

I always thought you to be someone so strong. So thick in your beliefs and laziness that you didn't care as long as it didn't affect you. You loved to have fun. We both did. It was the one thing that really tied us together. Sure I stopped playing pranks when we went to high school…but you should have told me if you wanted me to.

You should have just said you wanted us to spend time together. I would have agreed. Yet, you allowed yourself to drift away from me. I want to blame you, buddy. But I can't.

I don't have to say it. You were the one who let yourself fall. You were the one who willingly accepted the end. I saw it, you know. It haunts me every time I close my eyes. You were standing near the stern of the ship, sitting silently on the railing. Do you know….how my heart stopped then? I…I saw my entire life. And you.

Oh God. I can't do this. Why did you jump, buddy? ... You always called me that. No one calls me that anymore. I wouldn't allow them to.

I saw you smile at me. It was so sad. You lifted your hands and folded it across your shaking chest. I remember calling for you. Screaming. Running.

And you said the words that froze me inside. _Don't come for me._

I lost my brother that day. I lost you.

But you were wrong.

The Sun is still shining. Spring is still beautiful. But it's not the same, here without you.

'Cause the moment you chose to die, was the moment you decided to kill me inside. I keep telling myself that it was you. You didn't care enough to live.

But truth is, buddy, I wasn't there to keep you alive.

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"_We understand death for the first time when he puts his hand upon one whom we love." - Madame de Stael_

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I've never written a tragic fic where it involves my favorite character dying. Heck, I've never written like this before. So tell me what you guys think! Is it okay? Bad?

Review please! :)


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